UBER MY SKIN

UBER MY SKIN

After living with my skin for more than two decades there are still moments of uneasy encounters between us. Yes every now and again, I come to the sudden realization, with part shock and part wonder at how noticeably different from the “usual”, the colour of my skin is. Now this admixture of shock and wonderment is understandable if you bear in mind that I am one of those who on reaching adolescence and realizing that they don’t quite share the looks of their favourite movie stars, thereafter suffered from fresh mild episodes of non-clinical depression immediately after confronting a life size image of themselves in a looking glass. So most times I take care to live my life for long stretches of time avoiding mirrors. Blissfully blanking over the memory of what I really look like

So often it is more than a mere case of shock–sometimes it bothers on near distress–when friends casually refer to me as fair complexioned and it’s not any more comforting when total strangers expect me to answer to names like “yellow” and “oyibo”. The last two names, I have to admit I find particularly odious just because it reeks of sheer illiteracy and everything pedestrian.

So how would I rather have people refer to my skin colour? To start with I am African and I live in Africa. In truth my skin is a few shades lighter than the typical Nubian/ebony complexion. I may also add that I don’t quite qualify as an albino. So “that light skinned guy” would have been a good enough way for people to refer to me, a not so distant alternative would be “that fair skinned guy”. However on closer inspection this last suggestion should probably raise a few curious eye brows. For it does seem a little cryptic when you consider that fair is a term that variously translates to equanimity or beautiful, so when it becomes a term to describe a skin type, I say it’s a little too cryptic.

As it turns out that none of the above suggestions makes me happy I did some brain storming and managed to come up with two names I don’t find offensive; Mark and slim, the first is my name and the second best describes me. Both however fall short of what is needed, which is an acceptable name (at least in my opinion) to call my skin. Frankly I don’t really care much what anyone may choose to call my skin type, the irritation I feel just comes up when it is used instead of my name-that’s the part I can’t stomach.

Now in all of these, I ask myself, do I secretly resent my skin type? Hell no!

Do I like my skin type? By all means yes!

Do I prefer it to the regular black skin? Yes more than the regular black skin and I would do anything to remain with my skin colour.

I really do love my skin almost to the point of adoration (as if I have a choice) and I just suppose that anyone with a healthy skin of whatever tone would feel the same.

Do I think it’s better or more attractive than the regular black skin? Now honestly I don’t know and I doubt I have the answers to one of the most over rated questions of our time.

For many there seems to be the concept of a colour boundary both locally and internationally and like most boundaries there are rules for crossing over either way a la getting a different skin. Yet like advocates of free human migration there are some who in the spirit of one world one human destiny insist that it’s alright for people to desire to experience life in a totally different skin colour for whatever reason; simple preference, revulsion with their previous skin colour, aesthetics, plain mischief or the sheer want for variety.

As exciting or interesting as these might sound any tangible movement across the complexion boundary line is barbed with a number of spikes, as the idea of switching between different colour types does not enjoy universal acceptance. For in all honesty why would anyone in their right senses desire to change their skin colour? This poser has captured and stretched the insight and imagination of people everywhere in different ways. Thankfully enough following closely on the heels of the question is an abundance of experts on the subject who have all the answers.

The experts tell us that there can be one and only one bad reason behind changing the skin’s colour by bleaching or lightening it. it is the result of a hopelessly poor self-esteem. It is as simple as that. Thus it has become an irrefutable fact that whosoever attempts to lighten their skin has a total disregard for his race and suffers from a crushing inferiority complex malady. Although we are not so sure, about the complex suffered by those who darken their skin. In a process known as tanning, well maybe just maybe those who come up with words and names didn’t think to name the complex behind their actions. Probably due to this oversight and perhaps quite disappointingly for those who tan, they are not guaranteed anything near the feverish attention or inspection showered on their counterparts who lighten or are suspected of bleaching their skin. Most tanners soon find that their efforts at changing their skin are merely dismissed as an exercise in vanity and nothing else. And no one can say if Michael Jackson would have enjoyed half as much notoriety had he gone from white to black overnight.

The skin experts also reiterate that to reverse the inferiority genome, all effort must be made to discourage and outlaw the lightening of skins, this perhaps explains the existence of a skin colour vanguard/brigade dedicated to bringing order to the chaotic movement of people across the complexion boundary. Strictly speaking the skin brigade in Nigeria like most African countries is essentially an unpaid volunteer force of paratroopers urged on by the experts to stop the movement of people going across from “black” to “yellow” skin.

Naming and shaming is a time tested and proven reward system that is about as old as human society. And it has been most efficient with the colour brigade in fighting against the treachery and infidelity of as many blacks/negroes who seek to lighten their skin and consequently betray and humiliate the rest of their kind. The actions the bleachers is an unforgiveable faux-pass that is greeted with the most feverish vituperative that are meant to serve both as a deterrent for as many would be bleachers and as an equal measure punishment on the traitors.

...to be continued.