The jock conversation

JOCK BOYS

Infrequently I get a nasty itch in the area around my jock, and my preferred way around it? I thoroughly scratch and rub against the area until I am rewarded with a sensation of mild pain, pleasure and relief. Typically this is no different from scratching or rubbing any other area of my skin’s surface that feels irritated or inflamed. The sweet relief and closure, of catering to a real good itch is just priceless.

Nevertheless I wouldn’t be caught dead scratching my privates in public, and by public I mean having anyone around who isn’t clinically bat blind. It wouldn’t matter how intense the itch, I only scratch my member in private. But that’s probably just another of the insecurities in my head playing out ‘cause I have seen a lot of normal folks scratch their down parts right out in public.

So what makes my jock itch? Even sometimes itch so bad I could swear I have been attacked by a colony of ants’ right inside my underpants. Like I said before it doesn’t happen all the time but when it does happen and I ‘m fortunate to have a room all to myself, I take my fingers down to my penis area and scratch-scratch until it starts to feel real good and then I stop, bring my fingers back up to my nose and sniff-sniff and seriously wonder why it smells funny.

I can also swear (to a benign deity) that me running my fingers across my nostrils afterwards is a completely involuntary action as I don’t quite follow my actions through until I smell something funny. At this point the itch stops being such a big deal and I bother instead about the smell. Why does it smell like spit left out to dry on a spot? Compulsively I start to go over my personal hygiene; I remember to bath once a day-twice when it’s really hot, I use an under pant a day- this is one is not so true especially when I’m on the road-and so in the end I may not be the filthiest guy out there.

So why does my jock smell? Who else has a smelly jock? I am asking because I don’t know and I don’t know because no one talks about smelly jocks. Two guys would talk and listen to just about everything except have the conversation about each other’s privates (you see straight men can be the biggest victims of their own homophobia). Well I went along and did some research and I am told pheromones, sweat, and good bacteria (some bad ones too) and yes good old dirt are responsible for the smell. All of which are as natural and normal as the colour of the human eyes.

Still I struggle to accept the fact that a normal jock has its peculiar smell. Hygiene plays a big part but it would smell for sure. Well I don’t mind that it smells If only it smelt like a lavender grass field, my favourite bath soap or well just like the rest of my skin.

A few other things about my jock upset me. Like I get a little deflated each time I have to groom and rid myself of pubic hair. The whole damn business seems to my mind so backward and prosaic for the 21^st century. All that smart science flying around today should have taken men folk past scooping their testicles in one hand, Gillette blade in another, legs spread apart as we repeatedly struggle to get the job done with minimal self-inflicted injury.

I wonder if my sexual parts are considered a distant second to that of a woman, since it’s the female biology that gets all the care and attention. I also wonder if that’s because their parts smell a lot better or worse than mine to justify all the free press it gets to the near exclusion of all else. Woefully enough, for all the talk about it, I still have no idea how a ladies tushie smells, not ‘cause I don’t want to, I just haven’t been offered any to smell and I think it’s rude to ask, since I am not your everyday perv. But then I have no doubt that that it’s perfectly okay to talk about lady parts. “Vagina monologues” and dialogues are a steady feature of our urban conversation. Pictures and images of the v-jay-jay are high up there in the order of aesthetics and enjoy the acceptance of the average international currency, even if the sight and mention of the penis as we all know remains the height of obscenity and everything vulgar. If this is some kind of reverse discrimination, it’s the most powerful yet.

Is anyone surprised that for centuries now there has been a whole industry catering to women’s intimate femininity and it continues to grow in complexity and variety, offering them so much to take care of where it matters most. Aside the latex condom (with its very notorious reputation) grudgingly introduced sometimes in the late 1940’s, there has been no dedicated product to preen, pamper or gratify the penis.

One very interesting theory holds that the military industrial complex has conspired to halt and reverse the rise of the metrosexual male. However true this may be, I have recently realized that I can at least have the jock conversation with myself and even conscript as many who have been stirred by the love for their jock to do likewise.